A Random Zoo Story

One time a few months back me and Nathan were at the zoo and we got to the Missouri part of the place and we went to see the deer. So we had full on expected to not get close enough to see them, but those retarded fucking deer went right to us and just pretty much said "Hello please kill me!" So Nathan leans over and says "I killed your father!" and we start to walk away but then this cunt of a zoo keeper comes over to us and says "Excuse me sir, but you are traumatizing the animals". He calmly turns and smiles "Hey cunt, if you want the deer to be that retarded to come near me, it's the damned deer fault. It is just begging to get killed. It's like those rich fucks that pay to hunt. It's like it is begging to die! Like "Hello hunter I am a deer, I will put the gun to my head to make it easier to kill me. Wait that is unsportsmanlike? I will start to walk slowly forward just shoot me in the head. Wait that is still unsportsmanlike? I will kill myself just mount me on your wall! I FUCKING HATE MY LIFE PLEASE KILL ME! MY WIFE IS DEAD AND WAS MADE INTO DINNER! PLEASE FUCKING KILL ME!" Is that a sign that your zoos deer are retarded?" So at this point a couple of kids were staring blankly at us, and so is the zoo keeper. She is the reason that I am no longer allowed in there.;